آفساید



penguinism

Two men went to arctic for vacation. After two days one of them asked a shopkeeper: “Do you have white women in your town?” he answered:  ”Yes! Most of them are white!”
“Then what about black ones?” The man asked! “Umm! Yes, there are some black women too!” shopkeeper murmured! “Sorry! Do you have a black and white woman in your town!!!?” he asked again. Shopkeeper looked at them surprised and said: “NO!”
The man looked at his friend and said sadly: “Asghar! I think the woman that we spent the last night with her was a penguin!”
P.S. I think we have the same situation in all of our joys! We satisfy our demands with fake things! I mean, there is not any perfect thing in the world! And we don’t have any other choice!

   + آفساید ; ۱:۱٥ ‎ق.ظ ; ۱۳٩۱/۱/٩
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افکار یک اسب عصبانی!

Thoughts of an angry horse

We have a ridiculous world! Our gods are bunch of clothed monkeys! With their round funny heads and pear-shaped ears. They have four bald legs! But two of them are useless! Because their former legs have some disgusting splits in their ends!

We have a ridiculous world! These funny creatures haven't any tail! Even those idiot hens have a tail! They are really risible! Their stomach is in front of them and their back is in their backside!!! And those laughable hanging feet from their shoulders!

These wan creatures hit me everyday. And in contrast it's natural that I p.i.s.s in their water well!!! ... Everyday! We have a ridiculous world!

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جهان مذخرفی داریم! یک مشت میمون لباس پوشیده، شده اند خدایان ما! با آن کله های گرد خنده دار و گوشهای گلابی شکلشان! آنها چهار پای کچل دارند که دوتای آنها قابل استفاده نیست! چون آخر دو پای جلویی آنها یک سری شکاف حال به هم زن دارد!

جهان مذخرفی داریم! این مخلوقات خنده دار دم ندارند! حتی این مرغ های احمق هم حداقل یک دم را دارند! خنده دارتر آنکه شکم آنها در مقابلشان است و عقبشان پشت سرشان!!! با دو پای بانمک که از شانه هایشان آویزان است! ( این موضوعات را زیاد جدی نگیرید. چون اولا افکار یک اسب است و دوم اینکه این اسب ما کمی عصبانی است!)

این مخلوقات لاغر مردنی هر روز مرا می زنند! و در مقابل این کاملا طبیعی است که - گلاب به رویتان - من هم ب...اشم داخل چاه آبشان! ... هر روز! ...

   + آفساید ; ۱٢:۳٩ ‎ب.ظ ; ۱۳٩٠/٤/٩
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